The feeling that other people are judging you by what your child does or what you let her/him do is very strong. When Charlie was about 15 months we went to IKEA and he loved getting in and out of the cupboards, it was a great game, I posted a lovely picture of him popping out of a wardrobe on Facebook. I was relaxed about it and so was his Mum. IKEA is actually a child-friendly place and it was safe and easy for him to play in the shop (is there a connection between this and the fact that Sweden is said to have the happiest children in Europe?) Our experience is in contrast to the more common ones I have had when parents respond harshly to similar events in other shops. The child is happy and moving freely about, doing no harm, looking at things, touching things and enjoying themselves. The parent has their eye on them, they are safe, but then the parent notices other people are looking and feeling judged puts on a show of authority, “Come here, stop running around, don’t touch.” Sometimes this will be accompanied by a smack or a yank on the arm and the result is often tears. This raises questions for me. i would like to know what you think.
- Why is it that parents feel that other adults will judge them if they see their children enjoying themselves in such ways?
- Why do adults express their disapproval of parents who allow this freedom with looks of disgust?
- Why don’t our shops and other public places make themselves more child friendly like the IKEA store?
- Is these examples of how our childist society curbs spontaneity, joy and pleasure in the young and polices their parents?
Reflecting on the way parents often talk to their children in public places I wonder:
- Why is it that adults feel they can talk to children, their own and other peoples, as they would not dare to talk to an adult?
- Is the way many people speak to children an illustration of a childist society?